Hello.

Where to begin.

Okay, first. My most recent purchase of "pregger” pants -- a pair of jeans -- fit nicely once I was able to pull them up. Denim isn't as cooperative as thin cotton and I had quite a bit of difficulty. Undeterred as always, I came up with a solution. I asked my friends if they knew anyone handy with a needle. Tiffany responded and I laid out my grand plan: I wanted a handle/loop on each side so I could puts my arms through and hoist up my jeans using my arms instead of my hands. She worked wonders! She brought them by last night and I tried them on before I went to bed. It was so liberating, I felt so independent. I don't know how I will ever be able to thank her.

Next. My half-sister's half-sister -- who died of ALS -- succumbed 18 months post diagnosis. As you all know, I am 18 months post diagnosis. Lots to think about, more to be thankful for.

Next. A must see. This is another of the PALS I know from PLM. She's a slow progressor, has had ALS for five years. Arm onset.

Next. Had a SUPER visit with Mike today who was well pleased with my range of motion.

This is a good time to segue to something that has been on my mind, probably prematurely. Okay. I am 18 months post dx. I am progressing slowly. I am on lithium. As I've wondered before, am I slow because I'm slow or am I slow because of lithium? Now. I am presented with the possible opportunity to take part in the ceftriaxone study, if my EMG proves eligibility. It is not a cure, it is a POSSIBLE slower-downer IF I get the drug. There is a 2/3 chance I'll get the drug. Which will have to be administered into an implanted-in-my-neck IV catheter, twice daily. Both Dr Bayat and Dr Kwan are very keen on this study; it has much clinical data supporting it (unlike the lithium) and no one has died while taking it (like the lithium).

My questions:

1. What if my progression speeds up?
2. What if I discontinue the study but it's too late?
3. What if I shortchange myself by not participating?
4. What if my not participating shortchanges others?
   

I know. I am thinking way too much. There are lots of other questions, and I'm sure you have them too. What are your feelings? What would you do if you were me? What should I do?

Sorry. I started out quite positively, and then I turned the uncertainty corner. Disregard my dingdonginess, and take comfort and pleasure in the visual of me walking about with pull-up handles flapping from the hips of my pregger jeans. Heavens...after that, what's the big deal about a neck catheter?

By the way. Did you not simply ADORE those black crystally shoes? I almost swooned.