Another step taken

I have to admit I had conflicting emotions last night. Rose came on board, which made me both happy and sad.

Sad may be an overstatement. Having gotten to the point where I actually need outside help, acknowledging it and acting on it doesn't make me sad -- I guess I'm more resigned.

But having my meal prepared, having my hair washed (with a bonus scalp massage) and dried, having each toe and finger dried after my shower, having lotion applied, receiving 100% assistance with my clothes, this made me happy. Even relieved. Definitely grateful.

Rose is strong and capable and kind. And she's not only helping me, she's helping everyone else who is helping me, Jenny most of all. I am actually eager to get to the point where I can engage her twice weekly... once again I say thank heaven for long-term care insurance.

In other news: first post-spring break meltdown tonight. After two days of seeming normalcy, I didn't see this one coming. My stomach is still tied up in knots. I wish Rose could fix this.