I am a Terrapin. Really, I am.

I just had an absurdly unpleasant incident. Becky called while I was downstairs in the serenity room and, since the reception downstairs is poor, I went out to the backyard. I was going to sit on the little brick retaining wall next to the back door... but the land m-ass miscalculated and I fell backwards into the dirt. My left side was resting on an old stump (actually, it turns out it was a large rock), my head and the right side of my neck were resting on an uneven brick, my right leg was hanging over the wall, my left foot was resting on the wall. I dropped my phone when I fell but my Bluetooth was still in place; I had to hold it with my left hand or it would've fallen, too, and then I would have been up a creek. I could not for the life of me put myself upright! I felt like a turtle. It was terribly uncomfortable -- no matter what I did I was unable to move my back or neck into a better position. Of the two, my back was in less pain. The way my head and neck were positioned on the brick was awful and every time I tried to move only made it worse.

Becky called her dad who was on his way home from picking up Cecilia from school. While I was waiting the absurdity of my predicament made me laugh and cry at the same time. Even though I knew none of my neighbors were around, I called out for help. Because I was laughing it didn't sound like "help," it was more like "hellnfh." The man at the park in Richmond who told me to have a great day would have been doubly sure of his initial impression of me. Becky called me back and stayed on the phone with me until John returned with Cecilia. I didn't have to wait long -- only 15 minutes -- and then I was rescued.

I may end up with a pretty bad bruise on my neck and may have one on my back as well.