THE ODDS (Debbie Does ALS)


Spit or Swallow?

In the late 1970s on Saturday Night Live, Steve Martin played the character Theodoric of York, a medieval barber. During one skit, I recall the presence of a drool bucket. When it sloshed and spilled, my very sensitive stomach lurched and I felt utterly nauseous.

Fast forward 30 something years. I have been blessed with a disease that has wrought many changes, not the least of which is the overproduction of saliva. In the wake of my recent cold I seem to have ramped THAT up to the point where it is becoming problematic. As before, it causes a little tickle in my throat, which leads to a cough, then a yawn or a sneeze, which results in a runny nose and watery eyes. Every damn thing on my face leaks some sort of foul fluid. And my sensitive stomach is repulsed.

I don't have a drool bucket, I have a nasty washcloth as well as the floor of my shower (bleah). Gallons of thick, bubbly, viscous slime are daily expelled into these waiting mediums. On a happier note, just as I see things in my neighbors' trees, so, too, do I see things in these expulsions. Yes, I am thoroughly off my rocker.

These lessons in humility are becoming tiresome.


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