First of all: Saturday. Becky and John ran the Monument Avenue 10K. Last year Lynne and I ran it, too. Becky ran with me and we managed a solid 10 minute pace. This year she ran an 8.18 pace; John did a 6.16! They are machines. While Becky was running I decided to walk -- I followed the course up Monument Avenue, turned around at the second circle, and walked back to the finish. As I walked up the street, the first wave finishers were on their way home. I love watching runners near the finish -- they are so strong and so determined. The residents of Monument Avenue make a party on race day. I saw people drinking mimosas and coffee while eating a breakfast on their front stoop -- how wonderful. At the second circle I turned around. Now the runners and I were going in the same direction. As I walked, listening to my iPod, smiling at the breakfast eaters, feeling the energy of the runners, I became increasingly blissful in this space I occupied. I likened it to an individual's journey through life -- the people moving quickly by, those standing still, the occasional interruption when one gets in your way -- and the more I thought of it, the more blissful I became. It felt delicious.
This same deliciousness was with me Sunday morning, during my run. I forced myself to get up, no easy task these days when I'm feeling so lazy. The first moment of deliciousness came when I used my hooks to pull up my running socks. They haven't gone on so well in months. I don't know why I hadn't thought of this before. Anyway, I drove to the grocery store parking lot, got out, and began to walk. There was a light mist and it was cool, no -- it was cold. I walked for about five minutes or so, then began my slow trot. The deliciousness was building. It felt so good and the mist/light rain on my face and in my hair was a gift. I think I ran about 2-2 1/2 miles before I turned round. When I did turn around I could tell my legs were tired and my breathing was harder. I took down my already slow pace and slowly, determinedly made my way back. There are more hills on the return so I walked a bit more, but a hill is a hill and my legs worked to carry me up. Even in my fatigue, I was aware of feeling delicious, almost unbearably so. I can't tell you how many negative thoughts tried to intrude and penetrate. Now and then one would slip through and start to take shape in my mind. I wasn't having any of it; once I realized the negative thought was there, I booted it out. I finished my run feeling fabulous.
Today when I got to work my first stop was the mailroom. As expected, the weekend mail was abundant and was difficult for me to extract. As I was about to look for some help, a man walked into the mailroom. I'd never seen him before, but asked him if he would help me. He very kindly agreed. After he had extracted my mail, he started to go out -- he had had no reason to be in the mailroom. I think it's cool he showed up just at the right time -- someone or something sent him. We rode up the elevator together and had a pleasant chat. He was like a bright light, and when he got off the elevator I went and stood where he'd been so I could share in his bright light. It was such good energy.
Now for some other observations:
- After Sunday's run I feel very sore and tired. I stretched for a long time yesterday and will again tonight.
- I don't think I've mentioned this. But my face, particularly my mouth, has been twitching fairly consistently. As well, I have begun to notice that sometimes it is hard to say words, like my mouth can't form them properly. I mentioned this to Lynne, who said she had noticed a difference. Shit.
I will smile me a big fat delicious smile and find the strength. It'll be like running that 10K as fast as Becky and John did.
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