Mid Week Ramble

Ted Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor--a glioma?--and his prospects aren't good. He was seen leaving the hospital today, smiling, but knowing what is in store. I wonder if it's really registered with him. I wonder if the radiation and chemo will make a difference.

I'm still hoarse. Sometimes very noticeably, sometimes not so much. But hoarse.

On a different topic, I submitted my self assessment for my first TIS evaluation. Oh how I stressed over it; it makes me so uncomfortable putting down all the things I've done, because it's just STUFF. Not important. Just what I do. But if I step back and look impartially at what I do and how I work within this microcosm, I guess it does matter. Very frankly, I don't know who did all that I do before I got there. I discovered today an expensive error that wouldn't have occurred on my watch, but it happened before I assumed the role. Anyway, I'm half anxious, half eager to get the executive feedback. And I hope I get a big fat raise--I haven't had one for three years!

And a mental housecleaning topic. I have a very bad habit of thinking about people I've known over the years and analyzing the relationships. This doesn't just happen occasionally, it happens almost daily. While I'm driving, or running, or lying in bed getting ready to sleep; their names float through my mind like a laundry list. People who have hurt or disappointed me; people who have, for whatever reason, slipped away from me. I guess it's because these relationships are unresolved, at least in my head. I don't know. But it occurred to me today I do it so frequently that it's got to be unhealthy. So I have resolved to be very aware and to redirect my thoughts to more interesting, more productive areas.

And finally, the last of today's ramble. There are lots of people praying for me. They tell me to my face, in emails, in cards. I pray/send positive energy thoughts to lots of people, too. I thought today (sounds like I did a lot of thinking today) that I would try to list all those people who are the recipients of my prayers and good thoughts. Like the list of unresolved relationships that goes through my mind, they are in my thoughts as much, and actually more. They are like the twitches--ever present.

Okay, must go. Errands to run. LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART.