I'd give today a 2.

The local printing company, wonderful Jonathan and Company, agreed to print a single shirt for me even though it is not their practice. They also, so very kindly, did not charge me. Thank you, Jonathan and Company.



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Itty bitty dream interpretation: The lab-coated woman with the knife is Louise. She goes for my left side, so far unaffected. Appears on the anniversary date of the diagnosis. I know this is way too simplistic, but it's in my gut (haha, no pun intended).

However, my left side is NOT unaffected. I have for some days--probably longer though I didn't acknowledge it--noticed the beginning of atrophy in my left hand. As well, the left hand pinky AND RING FINGER are starting to rebel. I find my left hand tiring much the same way the right hand did, especially when I'm driving.

This totally fucking sucks. Tossing aside the bright and perky coping attitude right now, I have to say I am scared and pissed and I feel helpless.

In the article there is a line that says I have "a condition that eventually will destroy [my] ability to walk and talk, eat and breathe." I've reread that a dozen times. I know this, I've known it from day one. I just don't think about it. I'm not denying it, I just don't have to deal with it now. Seeing it in virtual print was chilling.

Lots of bad juju in my head the last couple days. The one-year mark, stress over the race, etc. It's all building up.