THE ODDS (Debbie Does ALS)



You may have gleaned from certain posts and comments in this journal that, on occasion, certain articles of clothing are deemed unnecessary because they are a hindrance. Perhaps unnecessary is the wrong word -- unwanted might be better. Regardless, they sometimes go unused. Understand? Okay, that was unpleasant...

So anyway. When one adopts this more liberated style of dressing one must also be prepared to deal with a most unfortunate consequence: the wedgie. Yes, you heard me right. I know, probably a topic nobody wants to know more about and, if that's the case, feel free to close this window and go on about your business.

I have noticed that this phenomenon occurs with alarming frequency, usually when rising from a seated position. The land m-ass begins its own continental drift when plopped into a sitting position and, when a seismic event (such as standing) occurs, the newly formed crev-asse attaches itself to the unfortunate fabric upon which it sits. The resulting geographic configuration is problematic.

The wedgie isn't the only problem. Un-wedgie-ing is a challenge, particularly when one lacks the ability to pinch fabric between thumb and fingers. As the fabric closest to the m-ass is the most tightly stretched, the first three fingers of my left hand need to latch on to the more pliable fabric to the south, awkwardly (but, so far, sufficiently) making contact with my curved thumb so that the "tug" can be achieved. Performing this operation in a public space while trying to maintain one's dignity can be trying, but I would much prefer that others witness the tug rather than the lack of.

Had enough?

Cecilia has introduced a new word into our vocabulary. When I go to her for help hooking or unhooking, she asks me if I have a “bra-blem”. She is rather a wit, that one.

Bonne dimanche, mes amis.

1 comment:

Mykljak said...

Twitter Updates

    follow me on Twitter