THE ODDS (Debbie Does ALS)



I bought a new shower head, one that can be adjusted for height or can be hand held. I am still able to shower by myself but in recent days must acknowledge that I feel vulnerable and somewhat timid anytime I stand, and I do stand more than I should.

When I was in Paris with Jenny and Lynne, I had a couple of close calls. After the feeling of panic passed I was overcome by a fit of laughter -- making my precarious position in the shower even more precarious -- as I imagined how difficult, even impossible, it would be for those two skinny girls to help me if I were to fall. I imagined the two of them trying to hoist (maybe wrestle is a better word) a slippery, wet whale out of the tub, a whale with useless arms and legs (I know, just ignore it). The visual made me laugh but the possibility of it actually happening brought me back to my senses. Jenny was not amused.

A few days ago my foot slipped during my shower -- not much, but enough to put me on my guard. Until now I have not had safety rails, that is being corrected immediately. As well, I am considering taking another step and asking Rose to help me when she is here. Hence the new shower head; I can sit in my (already walk-in) shower and let her have the management of the rest of it. This is a big step to take but I cannot afford to be brave or defiant. My safety is paramount and, even though I have been accused of having a twisted sense of humor, I do not want to be a twisted m-ass of arms and legs in the shower.

I told Becky yesterday that, while any sort of fall is to be avoided, it is preferable to fall fully clothed. One must think of one's rescuers and one's dignity, yes?

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