Bad-ass humor

Back in the day, women who worked in offices complained of "secretary
spread," the widening of their hindquarters that was the result of
sitting all day. You have already been treated to some of my witty
equivalents: walr-ass, land m-ass, etc. I came up with one today i
think best describes my specific affliction. Ready?

A-L-ASS.

Ba dum bum-p.

I crack myself up.