THE ODDS (Debbie Does ALS)


Wanted: amputationer, no experience necessary

I have always carried stress in my back and shoulders, particularly on the left side near my neck. In recent months it has become very problematic and incredibly painful. Cecilia occasionally applies the "evil elbow of death" to the affected area which provides temporary relief; Jenny likewise uses her strong hands and achieves a modicum of success. Last night, however, nothing seemed to help. The pain -- a deep, burning sensation (no, not that kind) -- was as intense and all-consuming as I've ever felt. It was still present when I woke up this morning. I do not look forward to spending the day like this.

I knew someone once who experienced great pain in her big toe; she complained that it was making her crazy. She complained enough to one particular doctor that he finally agreed to grant her request: amputation of the offending digit. Yes, you heard me right. She had her big toe chopped off. Extreme measures, yes, and, ultimately, totally futile as the pain remained even after the toe was long gone. Many times I would come upon her, rubbing the stump where her toe used to be.

I wonder if I should have my neck/shoulder amputated. I'm certain that is the answer to my problem.

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