Beer and Cake and UNC and Duke

Just back from Lynne's big do at her home. Considering I had the house to myself, it is a real testament to our friendship that I would go out under these circumstances! But she is such a great friend and her family is so welcoming and friendly I couldn't help myself. In fact, after the afternoon I had, it was very helpful.

My afternoon wasn't bad--but it bordered on depressing. I came home from my run (which was excellent, by the way) and was determined to get some things done that I'd been putting off. The family headed to Richmond and I settled in to balance my checkbook, look through some papers, etc. Some of the papers I had to go through were medical bills....I've racked up so much already in 2008. (Thank goodness for our health insurance. I don't know what people do who don't have it.) My hands were cold and, consequently, my right hand was even more clumsy than usual. The fingers spasm so much. They hit keys when I don't mean them to, they don't hit keys when I do. I'm constantly backspacing to make corrections.

I had added some links to this blog and decided to look for some others having to do with ALS. Big mistake. The two I added today (Arms and Legs) are gentle--some others I looked at were not. I may add them at some point but they are too much now. Maybe not too much for my dear readers, but too much for me. It was like going to the support group last month--a glaring preview of what's to come.

The hour having come to go to Lynne's, I decided enough was enough. I left, but the images I'd seen and the clumsiness of my cold right hand remained and I was feeling not quite my usual perky self. What was worse, I couldn't turn the key in the car. I tried a couple times but ended up having to use my left hand. Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes and for a moment I was full into the beginnings of a pity party.

Times like this I want so much to cry and have someone to talk to but I am very reluctant to burden anyone with this gloom. Everyone has their normal, happy lives and to look at this is ugly and unhappy. We are all so helpless against this stupid disease, it's not fair of me to throw this in people's faces.

I drove to Lynne's and listened to Amy Winehouse as loud as I could. Pushed the images out of my head. Put a glove on my right hand. By the time I got to Lynne's I was almost back to perky. Her son Josh met me in the driveway and offered to carry in my contribution of beer and cake (how's that for a combination?) and, because he's such a sweet kid and rather a favorite of mine, my mood lifted. Entered the house and got a nice hug from newly coiffed Miss SJ. The smile on my face was genuine--here was a good distraction! Lots of kids and friends and food and, of course, beer. The perfect balm.

And now, UNC is playing Duke. Time to go yell at the TV.