Timing

Brilliantly wise Tom came up with a great suggestion: call our local hospice. I did, and they have a counselor who works with kids; they also have a twice-monthly support group. I think this will be a good starting point for C Claire. The woman on the phone was friendly and helpful and informative. I'm to hear back from the counselor tomorrow.

Everything was fine until she said to make sure I knew I could come to them for my own needs. All of a sudden reality choked me--I managed to say thank you and I'd look forward to hearing from the counselor.

When I got off the phone I couldn't help it, sadness covered me up. I don't HAVE needs, not yet. I can compartmentalize and seek support for C Claire and not look down that road, even though I'm well aware that road is there. The woman's words, meant ever so kindly, were a punch in the stomach. The twitching felt worse, the weakness was more pronounced--the veneer was destroyed and a bright light shined on THE CLAW.

Luckily I got a friendly phone call. I shared what had happened and came close to losing it again, but was able to move past it...I don't want to be a gloomy old thing and bring others down. My friend, supportive and kind and fabulous, called at the right moment. Talk about perfect timing!

So. We'll see what happens tomorrow.