Meltdown

When you are telling yourself to be happy happy happy and not think about The Disease, you take your smiling daughter to the Best Best Buy because, despite the fact it's further away than the normal Best Buy, she is usually successful finding her CDs there and you love her and want her to be happy because it makes you happy. And you need happy wherever you can find it because you've had a not terribly happy day.

So you go. You wait. She finds an odd obscure little CD but says she wants to keep looking. You agree. You sit in front of the big TV that is obscenely expensive and watch college ball. The clock edges closer and closer to 9PM, when the Best Best Buy closes. Your smiling daughter isn't smiling anymore and you discover she can't find the CD she's been looking for for two years. Reasonable people understand that probably means it won't be found at the Best Best Buy or any Best Buy, at least not in your area.

You suggest it be downloaded from iTunes which is a ridiculous suggestion because it's NOT the real thing and is not loud enough.

The rumbling has begun.

So you take the CD she did find, along with the iPod car player you found, to the register. She begins to lose control and hits your hand as you try to get the money to pay Kerstie, the cashier, who looks on with a stunned expression but manages to be friendly and pretend she's not witnessing a 14 year old having a temper tantrum. Merchandise finally paid for you apologize to Kerstie and leave and very unsmiling and yelling daughter leaves with you, loudly voicing her objections.

Once in the car the screaming begins. The shrieking begins. She pulls your right arm despite the reminder the right arm isn't what it used to be. She kicks. Screams. Flails. No words you speak are acknowledged or listened to. So you remain quiet, and take the long way home. Hoping the longer ride will serve as a distraction.

Some small bit of calm is achieved by the time you reach home but not enough. The screams have become quieter wails, the shrieks are gone but replaced by plaintive cries. She refuses to get out of the car.

She's still in the car.

She's stubborn.

I'm tired. I'd better try to get her in the house.